Let's call this exhibit A.
Yes, I do realize that in all likelihood these are too cute to testify in a court of law.
But desperate times call for desperate measures. And these babies hold the key to many unanswered questions.
For instance. When the DA asks, "Joanne, what did you do the night before your boards exam?"
Or, "Joanne, why are you stumbling around as if in some sort of hyperglycemic coma?"
Or, "Joanne, against all odds, could you and your brother actually come from the same gene pool?"
I won't even need to speak. I'll just turn. And point. And turn a lovely shade of fuchsia.
And then, when he's not looking, I'll shove a cupcake in his mouth.
Am I averse to playing dirty? Cheating the system? Absolutely not.
Especially if chocolate chip cookie dough stuffed cupcakes are involved.
Amen to that.
(And while we're at it...amen to the fact that San Francisco has such ideal running weather. 7 miles of Berkeley yesterday and these cupcakes are but a haze of a memory on my thighs. Love that. Especially since they need to make room for Tartine and Bi-Rite and Humphry Slocombe. Sigh. I think I need to go for another run. Or twenty.)
So, yes. I finally got my brother to request something other than vanilla-flavored boringness for his birthday.
Whether I had to brainwash him in order to do it...yet to be determined. I plead the fifth. You heard nothing. Got it?
And so the night before the boards I did in fact find myself in my kitchen, baking cupcakes. It was actually ideal timing because I needed something to distract me and I felt too nauseous to sneak massive amounts of cake batter samples from the mixing bowl.
End result? Amazing. This is basically every craving you've ever had in one cupcake. While the cupcake itself is a pretty standard chocolate chip cupcake, the cookie dough batter is spot on. And the frosting? Swoon. The flour added to it gives it the texture of cookie dough and the hint of salt definitely adds a little something something. If you catch my drift.
And sure, maybe someday they'll be used against you in a court of law. But let's be honest. They're not really going to last that long.
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cupcakes
Makes 24, adapted from Annie's Eats
For the Cupcakes:
3 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/2 cups light brown sugar, packed
2 2/3 cup AP flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup almond milk
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup chocolate chips (semisweet or bittersweet)
For the Filling
4 tbsp unsalted butter, room temperature
6 tbsp light brown sugar, packed
1 cup plus 2 tbsp AP flour
7 oz sweetened condensed milk
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 cup mini semisweet chocolate chips
For the Frosting
3 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature
3/4 cup light brown sugar, packed
3 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar
1 cup AP flour
3/4 tsp salt
3 tbsp almond milk
2 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1. Preheat oven to 350. Line two cupcake pans with paper liners. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, combine the butter and brown sugar. Beat on medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Mix in the eggs, one at a time, beating well and scraping down the sides after each addition.
2. Combine the flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl. Stir together to blend. Add the dry ingredients to the butter/sugar mix on low speed, alternating with the milk, so that you start and end with the dry goods. Mix only until just incorporated. Mix in the vanilla. Fold in the chocolate chips with a spatula.
3. Divide the batter evenly between the prepared cupcake liners. Bake for 18-20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean. All to cool in the pan for 5 minutes and then place on a cooling rack. Let cool completely.
4. To make the cookie dough filling, combine the butter and sugar in a mixing bowl and cream on medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Beat in the flour, sweetened condensed milk and vanilla until incorporated and smooth. Stir in the mini chocolate chips. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until mixture has firmed up, about an hour. Or you can leave it in the fridge overnight (what I did).
5. To fill the cupcakes, cut a cone-shaped hole in the center of each of them.
6. To make the frosting, beat together the butter and brown sugar on medium-high until creamy. Mix in the confectioner's sugar until smooth. Beat in the flour and salt. Mix in the milk and vanilla extract until smooth and well-blended.
7. Frost the filled cupcakes as desired and sprinkle with mini chocolate chips!